by Maryann Pino Miller

We are not human beings having spiritual experiences. We are spiritual beings having human experiences, stated Jesuit philosopher Teilhard de Chardin. Remembering this, and all the truth, freedom and power it contains, is the point of our existence and the path to the peace, love and joy we are all searching for.

Many of us have forgotten the very truth of who each and every one of us is. From my perspective, our childhood had a hand in it. This is not an indictment of our parents and adults. They are as much a product of their childhoods as we are. This loss of our spiritual memory has been propagated for a very long time.

There are ways we can revive remembering we are spiritual beings and all the wonder that comes with it. First, it requires buying into the premise. Then we use the words. We say them, like affirmations. We claim our spiritual identity … even if we don’t believe it. Like all positive affirmations, they are the reality we choose to create. Those that want their spiritual identity to be their reality, claim it daily with affirmations.

While we are doing our affirmations, we have to address the confusion and misunderstandings that led to our coming to think and believe downright lies about ourselves, locking them down with intense feelings of guilt, shame, sadness, rejection, fear and more.

Every time our peace is disturbed … peace being our natural state of beingness as a spiritual being … our inner child is knocking on our heart. Something … said, seen or felt … was a trigger. Our inner sweetie needs to feel loved and safe. And we are the one to do it, the only one who can do it. Spending time with our inner child when the hurt is acute can transmute the hurt feelings and clarify the misunderstandings. At the time of the original trauma (I think we forget when we look back as adults it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but at the time it was), no one was present to us explaining, comforting, understanding, hugging … helping us feel seen, heard, validated, safe and loved. If that had occurred, there would be no button that could be pushed hurting us all over again.

So, this is where we come in to provide what was needed at the time the “event” happened. This starts with building a relationship with our younger self that needs to be nurtured as all relationships do.

How to meet up with our inner child

It is easier than we may think. They are in constant contact … remember, every time our peace is disturbed, our child is knocking on your heart looking for love. The difference is that we are going to initiate a visit to be proactive in developing a safe, loving relationship with our child.

~ Sit quietly and with intention to welcome in a younger self.

~ Think about a place we loved as a child hoping to see our younger self. In visualizing, go there as the adult. Look around and see ourself as a child coming toward you.

~ Invite our younger self to sit and visit. Tell her/him how happy we are to have this visit.

~ Ask the child anything … why was this place so special, how did they feel when they were here, how was this different from other places, who was usually there, how did they feel when they were not here.

~ Ask what made our child happy, what made our child sad.

~ Ask what our child wants us to know. Ask what we can do for our child going forward.

~ Thank the child for coming and sharing. Share a hug and an “I love you”.

Nurturing the relationship

~ Say “good morning” and “good night” to our child

~ Invite our child to go out with us especially if we are going out to have fun. If we have children or pets, they present great opportunities to include the child.

~ Draw pictures, get a coloring book, blow bubbles, etc.

~ Every time we go by a mirror, say “hello,” high five, smile, wink … anything that says I lovingly see you!

~ When we get triggered (your peace has been disturbed), pausing can help let our new awareness register … our inner child is hurting and needs to feel loved. Do our best to let our child know we hear her, see her, we understand. Let her know we love her and she is safe. Taking a moment to be with our child may help diffuse the hurting situation. If unable to do this, be okay with that and consider being with the hurt child later with comfort and love.

One of the things we pretty much all heard growing up is how wrong we were, pretty much never doing anything right. We now know that was all a matter of perspective and the other person’s issues. But at the time, that wrongness set in. Going forward, do our best to not see it as being wrong when we forget to nurture our child. We are always doing our best is always good enough. And this is a new tool we are playing with … have patience.

Committing to this self-relationship is the most sacred loving gift we can give ourselves. And it’s the gift that keeps on giving as it will enhance our connection to our Spiritual identity.

Maryann Pino Miller, a Spiritual Teacher, Awareness Coach and author, is a practitioner at The Center. Life in Balance, in Medford, NJ. For more information or to make an appointment, email [email protected].